The Alternative Christmas Story ...

My neighbour was telling me that her husband was due to go into hospital for surgery, and that she planned to make use of the time whilst he was recuperating by starting to write her Christmas cards.

Yes, it really is that time of year again ... when shopping centres are full to the brim with hoards of customers ... when tv adverts direct us to almost nothing but Christmas food, Christmas presents ... everything that is well and truly Christmas. It starts earlier each year (the advertising that is, rather than the day itself) ... but, as my second cousin posted on her Facebook page recently "its not Christmas until the Coca-Cola lorry is on tv".

I know that I'll have to get down to writing my cards soon, but just thinking about it reminded me of a somewhat disastrous shopping trip a number of years ago, when things didn't quite go according to plan.

At that time I hadn't been able to go out of the house on my own for a number of years, due to my health problems, but once I had taken delivery of my brand spanking new shiny electric wheelchair ... the world was my oyster ... and a shopping trip alone was an adventure waiting to happen.

My loved ones had to endure buying their own Christmas presents "from me" for several years, as I had been unable to go shopping myself, which rather took the element of surprise out of gift giving, so, this particular year I was determined to go and buy their gifts in person. The anticipation was overwhelming ... foraging amongst the other Christmas shoppers seemed so exciting ... but my fervour soon wore off.

Little had I realised how difficult it was going to be, shopping in a wheelchair ... how everything is placed at angles and heights that are just out of reach when you're sitting down. How people consider you (rather than your w/chair) a nuisance, and just barge in front of you, or worse - complain about you. The bottom line is that its pretty difficult to get near anything to have a good look, especially when displays are larger than life, and the aisles are cluttered with tinselled excess. We all know that shopping at this time of year is never a doddle amidst the crowds, but it can be especially daunting in a wheelchair.

I will never forget how, on this particular occasion, I was trying to reach for a beautiful card, which was sitting amidst a rather large display, and was also just out of my reach. But, being the determined young lady that I am, I leant forward in the hope that I could grasp hold of it.

However, little did I realise that I had forgotten to turn the wheelchair control off, and being a girlie who is somewhat well endowed, I found that I rather "made a boob" of the situation ... as my chest inadvertently touched the controls as I leant forward, and sent me hurtling straight into this wonderful display!! Cards, presents, wrapping paper (and me!) were sent flying in all directions ... whilst customers and staff looked on aghast - horrified at the sight of a deranged disabled woman doing a wheelie - full throttle into their Christmas sensation!

Fortunately nothing was broken, except my pride of course, and although completely mortified, I apologised profusely, and tried explaining to dismayed onlookers what had happened. As I recounted the events leading up to my "mad moment" I could gradually hear sniggers and giggles from the crowd ... and within seconds both staff and customers were in fits of laughter, and I was fortunately able to "make a breast" of the situation.

So ... perhaps if you're out shopping amidst the throngs in the coming weeks, you should beware of the redhead on a mission ... you never know what may befall you ...

But ... along with the hustle and bustle of buying Christmas cards ... food to feed a multitude, and gifts your loved ones long for, I wonder if you will stop for just a moment and think about what you are celebrating ... and why ... ?